January 18, 2016

Dear 15 year old.

You will love yourself too much. You will grow up too soon, realize life is tougher than what it looks like. But, you will come to accept and love it. You will be happy nevertheless. You will be there for yourself. There won't be any Prince Charming. Your Disney movies are going to be an epic fail. You will wake up to reality. You will understand that and live with it. You will also come to realize that Prince Charming isn't your type. That there is no type. That you are too contended with yourself. You will be a queen of your own nonexistent kingdom. You will break promises, you will break hearts too. You will like brains more than looks. You will make mistakes; humongous, gigantic, heartbreaking mistakes but you will rise above them all. You will come to love sunrise and sunsets more than you love those fancy lights in your room. Your best friend will be a book. Yes, at least, you will agree to history on that one. You will grow up too soon, too fast. Sometimes, you will realize it and love it. But, there will be times where you will downright loathe it. You will still be scared of reptiles and dogs, except that of your neighbour's. You will take that handsome for a walk one day. You will come to realize you have some amazing friends. The very same idiots that you spent your teens with. You will also find a soothing peace in Gilmour's guitar, especially when you will be drenched in rain and accompanied by a sunset. You will still love the stars. In fact, you will love them more. You will realize money isn't worth the effort. There are better things to do in life, like doing the work you love. And, you will do that. You are also going to turn out as a real badass, an asshole of a kind, a pain in the butt of many. Unlike the ones who predicted your tomboy phase will be over soon (Too bad for them). You'll cry. Alone. But, you'll just be fine. You'll get over shit and find your way out. Your non-belief in God will just go stronger and turn you into a pure atheist. Your parents will suck at parenting or may be, you will suck at being a daughter but things will get fine. And then get bad again. Then fine again. Then bad again. Then you will both just grow tired of it and leave the other the fuck alone. You will be a great bathroom singer. Music will be your escape from something you don't know, will never know. You will meet some great people. You will want them to be around forever but nothing lasts forever. I'm guessing you will be just good. You will still be scared of ghosts. You will still cry at movies but better ones, like Angry Indian Goddesses, Fury, The Shawshank Redemption and more (Conjuring too). You will have your way into and out of shit. Your default reaction will be a laugh. You will laugh at anything and everything. You will miss being fifteen a lot. You will get responsible (or may be, not). Your bucket list will include “Being bald”, so show off all the love you have for your hair. You will learn many new, hard, easy, crazy things. You will experience the sunrise and sunset from 13,800 ft. above sea level. You will be scared as fuck all the while but you will still do it. You will also do some extremely crazy shit. You will stop keeping a journal. You will throw those books away because you'll feel stupid reading them. You are going to have one hell of a relationship. It will end real bad but you'll learn from it. You will evolve to be a YouTube junkie. Turn people around you into one and be proud about it. You will secretly cry to “Don't you worry child” and never know why. Oh girl, you will be a bird, flying high, flying all by yourself, sometimes pushed back by the wind, then pushed back by some around you, but you will breeze through it all. You will be who you want to be even if that turns you into a selfish bitch. You won't care much because you will know you are okay with yourself. You will live with it. You will just fucking live with it well enough.