October 26, 2015

Rare View Mirror

First things first. Let me define myself for you. I am that chick who hates boundaries, loves freedom and rolls on her terms (regardless of the usual trouble and unusual satisfaction they bring). I have made humongous mistakes, none I regret but all I have learned from. Life has always been this unpredictable roller-coaster ride (I really like it that way). There are times when I have enjoyed and times I have puked. Pink Floyd and Coldplay for life. Followed by Amit Trivedi and Farhan Akhtar. Ask me about my future “plans” and I'll start wandering. I tend to keep short goals. My long term goals include buying a Bentley, a Tesla S, getting a huge terrace apartment on the top floor, tasting every kind of alcohol, running an interesting pub/bar/lounge, opening an ice-cream parlor, keeping my blog updated on a daily basis, writing good, teaching kids to dream, telling stories of my life and listening other's, traveling to places I don't know names of, walking in 4.5-inch high heels, being fit and many such child-like list of things. It's a never ending list. I have changed in numerous ways. Hatred is out. I sure do dislike a lot of things like the horrendous crimes our country has been the victim of but hate? Not sure. I do love cute calm animals. Also, there are very few people who hold importance in my life. I'm just sharing humanity with everyone else. I'm laziest on weekends and a budding sleepyhead. Head massages from mum over anything. Just realized it's been too long since I got one. I have turned out to be a narcissist. (Telling you, I love myself!) I have learned my lessons the hard way. Or to put it the way my intelligent friend likes to state it,"They are lessons because we learn it the hard way." CamelCase > snake_case because I loathe reptiles (Choosy much?) I always try to be calm. Over-reacting, hyper-ventilating isn't my thing anymore. Laughing is my default reaction. I try to analyse things till the end and learn from it. I don't judge. At least not intentionally. I stopped complaining. It's a useless activity. This is me at present. Not a month back, not a week before but today. Pretty sorted, huh? Absolutely. There are times when I have those mind-boggling, breath-choking, life-abhorring thoughts, but I don't let them control me to an extent that can harm or destroy me. I just let them flow and learn from their existence.

Nowadays, I have learned to accept. Acceptance is a heavy word. By accepting, I mean to accept myself for what I did or what I do. I hold my opinions without caring about their quality. I take my own choices. I do my own work. I believe in what I do, why I do and how I do it. Even if I mess up, it's my bloody mess and nobody has any business in trying to clear or ruin it for me.

The only point I have to justify here is our lives are ours. Nobody, just absolutely NOBODY (My brain just shouted!), has the right to make it good or spoil it. Nobody controls it. (At least you shouldn't let anybody do so once you're 18+ and biologically have an adult brain.) Take matters in your own hand. You don't have to explain or prove yourself to anybody but you. The moment YOU get it right, it doesn't matter who doesn't. Nobody punishes you or rewards you for living your life your way. You choose to choose, laugh, cry, be mad at, suck at living it or make it worth. The journey is solely yours. Everybody else is just a counterpart trying to hold you back (intentionally or unintentionally). Make your own new mistakes everyday and learn from them. The road is new and you are young. We have only one life. Forget the past, screw the future, start living today. 

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